The JHU Rundown

As I'm particularly frustrated by my overwhelming load of homework right now, I figured I'd finally tell everyone about JHU. It's pretty long, but fuck you, you're going to read it and you're going to like it. so here it is:

I. Classes

First of all, this picture is of "Big Doug" Poland, whom I'll talk about later. Okay, so like I've told many - they don't fuck around here. It's true that I don't know what other colleges are like. But the insane curve complimented by the fact that this place has quite a science reputation to uphold makes for some intense work. I'm being a teensy-weensy bit dramatic, though.

1. Chemistry - it's fairly easy because I've already done it. I can't imagine people doing this class with no prior knowledge of chemistry. Thank the Lord for the Reeves-Harmer tandem. Anyway, I'm really happy because "Big Doug" is my prof - just look at him. If you think he looks crazy now, wait until you watch him do calculus on the Ideal Gas Law.

2. Calculus - this class is a joke (why the FUCK did I have to get a 3 on the AP exam!?). Some little Korean guy teaches it and you can't understand him, but that doesn't matter because Blong taught me enough, surprisingly.

3. Expository Writing - it's the only humanities class I have and it isn't difficult per se, but it is "tough." Humanities here are VERY easy from what I'm told, but I happened to pick a scientific expos topic, so it's a fair amount of work.

4. Chem lab - it is so much fucking work that i want to kill myself every sunday at about 11:00 PM/10:00 PM Central. It's easy, but extremely time-consuming, due to Dr. Sig Fig Nazi.

5. Physiological psychology - it's the biology class from hell. I don't even know how to describe it, other than it has instilled in me a deep hatred for neurons, glia, the third ventricle, and action potentials. Actually, I just pretty much hate studying the brain now. Too bad, neuroscience was going to be my major - how ignorant pre-freshman can be. Thank God I figured it out earlier than later. It's not the utter difficulty of the class that bothers me so much, but the subject matter. It's like talking about the SAME damn thing over and over again, just different parts of the nervous system with tiny little differences that are almost impossible to keep track of. The lecture on "Sex and the Brain" was pretty kick ass, though. I saw two rats humping.

II. The Campus


The campus is incredible. I really dislike art and that shit, but the campus architecture is amazing. The campus itself is pretty small and very navigable. I live right next to the library (the library is the bottom-most building in the picture and you can't see my dorm, because this photo is of just the Gilman quad thing), so that's cool, and there's plenty of open grass for playing football or frisbee. I wish the Indian kids would let me play cricket with them, but I don't know what the hell they're doing. Anyway, the library is awesome. All the lecture halls and classrooms are awesome. Pretty much everything is awesome. Except for the food.... whole-wheat pizza, soggy french fries and a Sierra Mist every day. Thank God for vitamin supplements. But that's the price you pay for an otherwise good campus.


III. Life

Life is overall pretty good. There's a ton of stuff to do on campus, and fun is abundant. However, the rumors are more or less true about Hopkins - if you're a premed, you're in the library 10 hours a day. The competition here among future doctors breeds intensity - but that's a totally different story, I'll tell you all about that stupid shit another day. When you're not in the library, Baltimore is a very fun city. The Inner Harbor (in the picture) is really sweet - you could probably spend every day there and never get bored. There's a ton of shops and restaurants, and enough "street magic" to kick David Blaine's ass. I saw some lady dressed as a pirate on a unicycle juggling fire sticks yelling obscenities at children - it was tight as hell. That's the upside of Baltimore. The down side involves one mugging at gun point, another at knife point, and cab drivers. People throw the word "ghetto" around like it's nobody's business, but you have not seen a ghetto until you walk around Baltimore. I fear for my life, wallet, and anal virginity (these are in order of importance, of course) every time I walk two blocks away from campus. But life is good otherwise, and "Charm City" certainly is charming if you go to the right places.

So there you have it, three important aspects of college at the Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. It has its ups and downs like anything, but overall I'm extremely pleased with my experience so far, and I'm very happy with my choice. I hope you've enjoyed...I predict another post involving "Big Doug" fairly soon.